| LittleMouse encouraged me to put up my own GW fanfic. There is yaoi ahead (I think, it depends on how well I think I can write it). If you're not comfortable with it then don't read. Nuf Said. And thanks Mouse, I'll be blackmailing you later. ;) Disclaimer: I do not own GW. ~*~*~*~ signifies a change in time/place. Pairings: 1x4, 2x3, 5x?, perhaps others... '______' signifies thoughts -____- signifies things said in Mandarin ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ It’s funny. They told me I was the most passionate fighter of us five. Justice was a battle cry. If only they knew. They assumed Heero had no emotions. They were wrong; he had so many that no particular one could make itself known over the others as they battled. But he had clarity. Duo was assumed the idiot. His razor sharp wit and spontaneous genius saved all of us more than once. Trowa was silent. Of course he was. He may well have been a ghost. But he was determined and brilliant at subterfuge. Quatre’s innocence was flagged in battle. The only people who learned not to underestimate him, besides the other pilots, never lived long enough to make use of the knowledge. And what of me? The fifth pilot? All I had to offer was a battle cry I never truly gave myself to, hand-to-hand training that was almost negligible for the amount I used it, and a secret that I kept safe behind a mask of cold determination. They never really knew me. They suspected once or twice, but firming the mask in place shattered the doubts. I almost wish they hadn’t. The wars have ended thankfully and Nataku is in her resting place in the mountains. My secret is still safe. My mask is still in place. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ “Hey ‘Fei!” “ACK!” Paperwork went flying in a flurry of white paper, yellow copy pages and pink carbon sheets. Damned baka! “WHOA! That’s my best reaction to date!” A low and rather threatening growl had him taking a step back away from the POed dragon. “Oooookay. Maybe not the best reaction I’ve had to date.” “What do you want Maxwell?” “Wanna come to dinner with me and the guys? Quat finally got some time off and Trowa’s here too. And….. Fei?” The former pilot had noticed that his friend’s gaze turned inward. Like he was remembering something painful that he wished to forget. “Hey Fei, you alright?” “Hmm? Yes, what were you saying?” “The guys are all free and we wanted to have a big dinner together. Ro made reservations at that Japanese place. You know, the one that actually makes edible sushi? Or at least sushi that Trowa calls edible. Honestly, I think he’s taking after those cats of his.” “I….. I cannot make it tonight, Maxwell. Please send my apologies around. I have other responsibilities.” He tried not to notice how his friend’s shoulders slumped slightly before the manic persona was back in full force. “Ok, it was probably too late notice to begin with. I’ll make sure everyone knows and make sure I give you fair warning next time. And Fei?” “Yes Maxwell?” “You look like shit, at least get some sleep.” “Kisama!” One Duo Maxwell had wisely retreated before he could be impaled on any number of pencils or pens in one Chang Wufei’s immediate vicinity. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ “Hey guys, Fei couldn’t make it.” “Again?” The blonde’s pout had a near melting effect on everyone, nearly-perfect soldier included. “He said he had other responsibilities. You find anything ‘Ro?” “No. Nothing listed on his calendar or in his emails.” “You two bugged him!?” “Hn.” Heero nearly flinched under the glare from the small blond. Almost. “Well, yeah. But Q-bean, he’s said he’s busy every single time we offer one of these get-togethers!” “Maybe he’s uncomfortable with us pairing off. Did you consider that?” Trowa’s quiet voice was still heard by his companions. “I thought about that and I asked. He very bluntly said ‘If you can get someone to tolerate you they have my sympathies and respect.’ And then went on to say he was happy for us pairing off.” For a few moments no one spoke. “Stakeout?” “Don’t even Heero.” Quatre glared again. Heero nearly flinched again. Something told him he'd be sleeping on the couch tonight. “It might not be a bad idea.” Quatre stared at his partner in surprise. “I though you out of everyone here would agree that spying on friends is not something we do.” “I would, if I wasn’t worried. Does anyone know what he does once he leaves the office? What he does on his own time, who he sees?” “Well once I…..” The former pilot of DeathScythe trailed off looking confused and slightly upset. “It’s been months since any of us have seen him outside of the office or on missions. He looks nearly dead on his feet some days. Maybe nightmares?” “Hn.” “Maybe….. maybe it’s not such a bad idea.” Quatre’s voice had turned soft. “Then we agree. When should we set this up?” “I’m free again in a month.” “I hope he can last a month.” ~*~*~*~*~*~ It’s cold up here. It’s not too far into September here, but the nights are nippy. Oddly something I find comforting considering that I grew up in the eternal summer of L5. I have a light jacket on over a t-shirt and a comfortable old pair of jeans. With my outfit and my hair being loose I doubt any of the others would have recognized me on sight. But there’s a nice crisp breeze blowing over the top of my building. So I don’t really care about the rest right now. I don’t dare sleep so soon. Nightmares come. Bleeding screaming nightmares that I can’t seem to stop. I’ve tried all the old remedies of my clan. All the new wave therapies and drugs. Everything. But there’s no stopping them. The only thing that helps is total exhaustion. So for a few precious stolen hours near dawn I sleep. Usually the alarm goes off just in time to save me from my victims. Instead I slip up here to the roof and watch the city, getting a view of twinkling stars on clear nights. I’ll have to put something on my face tomorrow to hide the dark circles under my eyes. Curse Maxwell for noticing. I can’t have the others worried. I can’t have them concerned. I can’t risk letting someone that close to me. If only Duo knew how much his namesake trails my heels in my dreams. So instead of sleeping I lay back and watch the heavens roll by, clouds obscuring the sliver of moon near the horizon. A little past the first quarter. The flowing moon will bloom soon. I flinch as I think of how my father would have viewed the vision of his son now. Sitting back and watching the heavens instead of off striving to revive the noble Dragon clan. If only he knew that such a possibility were nearly impossible. If only he had known about the mask I wear. |